I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
