and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
