your room smells of hookers.
And success
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
