My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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