too bad you live with your parents still
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
