I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
