Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
