I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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