Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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