i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
