you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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