Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I want a musical about memes.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
