Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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