You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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