Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
