I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
