3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
