Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
im drinking this country out of the recession.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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