so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
