My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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