Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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