thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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