yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
