I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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