tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
