WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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