the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
50% drunk capacity currently
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
