Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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