My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
