Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I could fuck to npr.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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