Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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