The maid of honor just puked.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
