Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
