I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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