I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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