Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
