I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
