Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
