that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Dicks are not precious.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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