if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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