well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
