I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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