Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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