oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize
