he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
