So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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