please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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