idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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