I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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