yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
