My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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