I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
